Monday, August 13, 2012

My Anxiety About School

School is still a year away, but we all know how time flies. My anxiety about G starting school is starting to get to me. For a number of reasons. G is a mama's boy. A hopeless mama's boy. I love having him around all day. We play, we laugh...sure, it's nice to get a break and school would give me the whole day to relax get some housework done, but the thought of my baby being so far away causes me some mild anxiety. I guess it's the change, how different it will be to not look over and see him smile at me.

The major cause of my anxiety is his social behaviors. He gets extremely nervous/scared around people. Not  even a group of people...just people. One person two people, or a group...he reacts the same way. Maybe he'll grow out of that by the time he goes to school, but what if he doesn't? What if someone tries to sit next to him at school and he flips out? I won't be there to calm him down or explain to the other kids why he does that.

What if this behavior causes other kids to bully him? I do NOT even want to think about my little boy with that sad look on his face as other kids tease him. It makes my heart hurt...physically hurt to think of this happening. Even now, a year away, it hurts me. G is different. Other kids don't understand him. Will his teacher be able to effectively calm him down when a meltdown happens? Will the teachers be able to protect him from the teasing and hurtful words?

I want to homeschool him so badly, but my husband wants him to be around kids and learn to be social. He wants him to have friends. I do too. But at what cost? There are no guarantees in life. I can't protect him forever. Life is tough. Blah blah blah...I just want to keep my baby in the next forever. I know I'm going to be THAT mom...the one driving behind the bus and sitting outside of the school all day...I am not ashamed to admit that (maybe a little).

This is what keeps me awake at night.

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