The Monster in the Closet

I really should start blogging in the evening. I'm entirely too zombie-like in the morning to form rational thoughts. But here goes nothing........

A good friend of mine (who you can follow on twitter @jstapes) told me "the lack of sleep is like having a newborn, but forever". How right he is! G still wakes up through the night. Two or three times, depending on his mood. Here's a peek at his bedtime routine (he goes to bed at 8pm):

Turn off the TV (if I do it, it's meltdown time)
Refill his sippy cup with juice (he has to hold it and it has to be juice. if it's water, it's meltdown time)
Climb the stairs and go into his room (carrying his pillow on his back)
Once in his room, he climbs on the monkey and looks out the window (he got a HUGE stuffed monkey for his birthday that affords him the chance to look out of his bedroom window)
Turn on his moon (he has a battery operated moon on his wall. he loves space)
Get into the closet and cover up (he recently started sleeping in there. it's his "hideout")
Arrange his animals in this order: bear, bunny, doggy (out of order animals will result in a meltdown)
Read any number of stories (usually it's Dr Seuss, his fireman book and some nursery rhymes. That could change depending on his mood)
I lay on top of him, using all of my weight, to "squish" him.
Hugs and kisses (which he needs to be on my lap for)
I scratch his back
Another kiss

After that last kiss, I leave the room. The whole process takes anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes. If he's not resisting, it'll get done rather quick, but if he's in meltdown mode it takes a lot longer because I have to calm him down enough to even start that process. If any one of those steps is skipped, he'll flip out and we have to start over. This is not the end to the process, however...oh no. He usually wakes up around 11pm or midnight and the entire process starts over with the added step of going to the potty.

When he wakes up, trust me, you'll know. He lays in front of his door making this God awful screeching sound while simultaneously kicking/hitting the door. You would think a serial killer is in there trying to rip his eyeballs out. I'm surprised someone hasn't called child services thinking I'm beating him...(I'm not, by the way. Although I've contemplated the garbage disposal a few times. The sound would just scare him more. I kid, I kid)

I hope, as he gets older, his sleeping improves. And when it does, most likely in his teen years, I'll be there to bang on his door at 6am while simultaneously blowing an air horn. This is the thought that gets me through my coffee induced, zombie-like mornings.